As parents, we would like so many things for our kids — good health, success, glad relationships, and purpose in life.
One thing we are able to do to try to ensure this stuff is to assist them develop emotional intelligence skills, that are key predictors for happiness and success.
How do in case your child is on the precise track? As a conscious parenting researcher and coach, I’ve studied the behaviors of over 200 kids, and I’ve found that those with high emotional intelligence do six key things:
Like an emotional detective, they’re good at grasping other people’s feelings by picking up on their body language and facial expressions.
They could say, “Mom, my friend Sarah was really quiet today. I asked if she desired to play, and she or he said no. I feel she was sad about something.”
Tips on how to construct this skill: Have reflective conversations with them about their day and discuss emotions they observed in people they interacted with. These chats strengthen their ability to read emotions and boost their confidence in understanding others.
You may ask, “What sort of a mood do you’re thinking that your classmate was in today?”
They not only discover others’ emotions, but additionally show real concern and offer help.
During a playdate, for instance, your child notices her friend looking upset because he didn’t win a game. She walks over to him and says, “You played rather well! Do you must play something else together?”
Tips on how to construct this skill: Essentially the most powerful way for folks to encourage empathy of their child is to model it themselves.
If a neighbor is unwell, you might say, “I’m frightened about Mrs. Brady. Let’s check on her and see if she needs help with anything.”
Emotionally intelligent kids are great at sharing their feelings.
When your child says, “I feel frustrated because I can not solve this puzzle,” or “I’m glad because I helped my friend fix her toy,” they’re recognizing and communicating their emotions.
Tips on how to construct this skill: Make it a degree to label your emotions: “I feel dissatisfied that I can not find my keys,” or “I’m a bit overwhelmed with all of the work I even have to do.”
This helps normalize discussing emotions, making it more natural on your child to do the identical.
A toddler able to easily navigating changes in routines, or handling disappointing news with calmness, is showing emotional maturity.
When an outside picnic is cancelled because of rain, for instance, as a substitute of feeling upset or throwing a tantrum, your child calmly accepts the change: “Oh, it’s raining. Let’s have an indoor picnic!”
Tips on how to construct this skill: Again, it starts with the parent. Being flexible and calm in our own reactions models adaptive behavior for our kids to emulate.
Take it further by inviting your child to problem-solve and brainstorm an answer: “What can we do as a substitute?”
Emotionally intelligent kids can pick up on subtle cues that others may miss.
Once you tell them about your day, they’re doing greater than just listening; they’re tuned in and picking up on the emotions behind your words. They ask questions and show real curiosity.
Tips on how to construct this skill: When your child has a story to inform, give them your full attention. Make eye contact, stop every part else you’re doing, and get to their level. Reflect and repeat back what they’re saying to indicate them you are really listening.
Emotionally intelligent kids can handle big feelings, stay calm when things get tricky, and make smart selections.
Picture your child playing a game with friends and losing a round. As a substitute of reacting out of frustration, a child who is nice at self-regulation might take a moment to catch their breath, after which jump back in with a positive mindset.
They keep cool and carry on, even after disappointment.
Tips on how to construct this skill: Resisting our own little “tantrums,” corresponding to yelling or overreacting, is a fundamental option to encourage this skill in children.
You may also introduce a “pause and breathe” technique, where you teach your child to take a deep breath or count to 10 in difficult moments. Allow them to watch you do it as well.
When kids see us handle tough times with grace, it is a lesson they will not forget.
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